Having time alone in a relationship is necessary for a healthy relationship. You might occasionally stumble upon couples who do everything together, and the ones that don’t and can’t do anything together.
Depending on the characteristics of your situation you should aim to be somewhere in the middle. This will greatly depend also by your partner too. Keep in mind that space is also something that your partner will need too.
A recent study shows that spending time alone is not only necessary but you might be missing out, especially if you are an introverted person. When your body is searching for less stimulative space is a good sign that you need time alone.
You can find there a couple of rules throughout the web: 80/20, 70/30, etc. but let’s face it you are not going to have a watch every time you are with your partner, and keeping tabs all the time.
How much alone time you need depends entirely on your needs and your partner’s needs. There is no limit, no timestamp no checkout point, feel yourself in a relationship.
The most important thing about this topic is that you need to communicate and express your opinion about this with your partner. Hear them out and let yourself be heard, you should be a functional team after all. Balance it out, find a perfect measure for everything, and your relationship will flourish.
If you still need the exact number try half an hour every day and see where it takes you. Experiment as much as possible until you find the perfect spot. That will also involve all your daily activities, especially if you have kids together.
Having alone time is perfectly natural, and is a basic reaction that your body is giving to you when you are overstimulated or not stimulated enough.
Benefits of Spending More Time Alone
Improving Yourself – It goes without saying that when you have time for yourself you can improve your skills better. When you are consciously putting an effort to create a better self it is usually when you are doing something with your skills or simply learning new ones.
More Relaxed, Tending to your Needs – This goes especially when you are having kids. When you are jumping and taking care of everybody else but yourself you definitely need some time off just for yourself.
It can be a simple nap or a cooldown, to going to a spa center and being completely relaxed. Here is also valuable to mention that you need to relax your mind not just your body.
Be more Efficient with your Time – You will appreciate the time that was given to you more. The more time you have that is exclusively yours, the more efficient you will be at managing it. That goes with all activities that you tend to do. From relaxing to working out and learning.
We have created a list of self love activities that you can do in the coziness of your home. To check them out, click here.
You will have More Energy in the end – When you overextend yourself you will be left without any energy. If this continues and you are not happy with it you should change that stance. Finding time for yourself is paramount for a healthy life. Not only you will have more energy after your quiet time but also be more mentally prepared and sharp.
Self Care and Being Comfortable – Being comfortable in your own skin is one of the principles that you learn and obtain while doing self care activities. Self care habits are something that you can practice and implement in your everyday life. If you are interested to know about them, click here to read our other post.
Longing and Desire will Rise up again – That alone time can also be beneficial for your relationship on the backend. Sometimes you will experience a sense of loneliness when you spend quality time alone, and you will need your partner to fill that void. That will bring more flame into your relationship.
When is the Exact Time to be Alone?
This is a topic that is not necessarily can be done by the book, as everyone is different and not all relationships are alike. But what we can point out is some of the most common feelings and signs that you really need some time alone.
Feeling Drained and Overwhelmed – If you are feeling exhausted and overwhelmed by the energy of your partner you really need to stress that out. It may be a simple continuous feeling from a longer period of time where you simply didn’t pay too much attention to it. Its like a drop of water when the glass is full.
Communicate with your partner if you have that feeling.
Too Much Stimulant – This one goes with the previous part. If the surrounding stimulants are too much for you don’t be shy to call it out. Keep your sanity, and don’t be ashamed to express your feelings out loud. Especially if you are introverted your glass will be filled quicker. So tend to your needs for both sakes.
General Fatigue and making Appearances – When you are on the edge for a while and you have that period when you are bombarded with obligations and activities that might be a good time to have a day off from everything.
Going to an event will come more stressful if you are stressed out and figured that it won’t help you let some steam off. Never neglect yourself or your body, because you won’t get another one.
When you reminiscence and figure out that you haven’t done anything for yourself in a while
You are Fighting about Every Single Thing – This one happens a lot when you are not having your own space. Fithign all the time without any reason that you can think of. However, when you search of what is going on chances are that you weren’t doing something solely for yourself in a long time.
When you are fighting about every single thing something is missing, check with yourself and your partner if time alone will help.
Don’t complicate things, follow your gut feeling and reach out to help your partner out if needed. Communicate, hear each other out, acknowledge one’s needs, and act on them.
Thanks for reading, have a nice day and take care.
