If you are thinking that you are losing yourself in a relationship you are probably right. We have good natural instincts when it comes to our surroundings, and if something is good for us.
If this happens in every relationship that you have and it turns out exactly the same then you have only one common denominator – yourself. As soon you realize that the sooner you can act on it.
Losing yourself in a relationship means exactly as it sounds – losing your true self and your identity for the sake of the person you are with. Over time you won’t feel as a whole without your partner, and you lost the spark in your eye that you used to have. Essentially you are losing your whole persona and becoming something that you are not.
It doesn’t feel good at all. You will not get anywhere with self pity. It is perfectly normal to lose your edge occasionally but you have to recover every single time you noticed that. Nobody can be at the top of the game or always have the edge within them. Constantly checking yourself is a good thing to do for you and your partner.
Think of it like this – if you give in you up on yourself you also give up on the relationship in the long run. So in the end nothing good will come out of it, only it will be slow and painful decline.
There are natural consequences of losing yourself and not improving. If a plant can’t and won’t grow they get attacked by mold, bugs, and whatnot and they die eventually. Same thing here, if you don’t grow, problems will get you and your relationship will suffer.
In order for your relationship to flourish you have to push forward and fight for it.
Why am I Losing Myself in a Relationship?
Too Much Committed – You are giving your all in this relationship no matter what. That is all good and fine. However, if you are only committed to your partner and not taking care of yourself that might be the reason for losing yourself in the end.
You are Down for Anything – Without saying no you are involving yourself in situations that you rather not be in. For whatever reason you are doing this it is not good for you or for your partner. Communicate, and express your feelings toward something that you don’t want to do. Stand up to yourself, and don’t be dragged around.
Afraid of Losing Your Partner – This is the most common link for losing yourself. Because your partner is too valuable for your you will do just about anything to stay together. When you approach a relationship like that common occurrences are that you will lose yourself, your partner will lose interest, and over time it will evolve into a toxic relationship.
Don’t Do You Anymore – Losing yourself also means neglecting your basic, and fulfilling needs. You don’t do what makes you happy. Somewhere along the line, you forgot to take care of what inspires you and motivates you every day. By putting someone above you you become less you.
You Got Comfortable – This happens almost in every relationship. By getting comfortable with your partner you became less you and the same goes for your partner. You became familiar with one another and simply stop treating each other like you did in the beginning. This is expected, but you have to replace it with something else. Something that will keep you going and find deeper love.
How Do I Deal with Losing Myself?
Make Time for Yourself – This one seems straightforward right? But what should you do with that time is another question. Practice meditation to help improve our self love. We have written recently an article to answer that question, to read it click here. Make an effort, make some changes take action and results will follow.
Connect with other people – Research shows when we have the power and willingness to help other people we found our cause even if we think we lost it. By increasing your self-compassion not only you will treat others well, but yourself too. Meeting strangers will invoke a sense of journey within you, or at least shake you from your zone of comfort.
Get a Clear Picture of Where you are – Where are you in life and your current relationship? Are you happy, or fulfilled? Do you miss anything, have you accomplished your goals? These are all very delicate and personal questions that need to be answered seriously. Knowing where you are currently will give you a clear picture and a much better perspective of where you are going. With it, you can make plans, tweak what needs to be changed and enjoy your life to the fullest.
Find Out Where is the Problem – By having a broader perspective of your situation you will have the opportunity to make amends. Finding where the problem is will be a game changer. You can be in love and still love yourself. We have a post that answers exactly that, to check it out click here. You can help yourself with affirmations, meditations, and activities with other people.
Rediscover yourself – Since you lost yourself in the process of life you have to rediscover who you are. It won’t be easy but it will be an exciting journey. There is always a part of you that you know which responds to your needs and likes. But take this opportunity to find out more about yourself. Explore and discover your new abilities, hobbies, and likes.
Don’t think of losing yourself as a bad thing, be grateful that it did happen, because you received a wake-up call. Now act on it.
Is Losing Myself Affecting My Partner?
Yes for those reasons you just thought and yes for other reasons as well. When you are not who you used to be that naturally affects your partner. Depending on your partner’s willingness to help the dynamics in a relationship will change until some repairs are done.
They are also stuck with you like that. You are becoming less and less you. That period is also a test period for your partner as well. A stressful period like that will show you the other side that is willing to help and being able to help, or not at all.
You need to have meaningful conversations about situations like this. The more you are open about it the more you can connect to your partner. Seek advice and give one if asked. Share your opinion and listen to somebody else’s.
If you have a good and healthy relationship every passed obstacle will only strengthen it. Do not let yourself nor your partner go in vain. You can deal with any problem together if you want to.
Don’t feel discouraged, feel appreciative that life has given you this chance to grow and learn.
Thanks for reading, have a nice day and take care.
