Parenting is a neverending job. Even though when your kids have kids of their own and become successful people they are still your children.
All we want for our children is to provide them with safety, food, and shelter.
Having kids and being a single parent carries great financial obligations, especially when it comes to food, shelter, and safety. Those are just the basic needs that every child must have. And we are not mentioning the accompanying cost.
Being a single parent even today has a stigma in society. The psychological well-being of a single parent deteriorates as time goes on and financial struggles are keeping direr. Not only there is little to no local support for single parents, but also there is a lack of institutional support for them too.
In multiple studies, researchers have found a demonstrated link between financial hardship and poor mental health. It is concluded that single parents, that are having financial difficulties, are more likely to experience higher levels of depression, anxiety, and general stress.
Despite making their best and extensive efforts to meet their financial obligations they are prone to psychological difficulties. Money is a constant and central part of everyday life. Not only that but there is low to no hope of finding a solution to get out of that situation.
When talking about single mothers a study from 2019 by Federal Reserve Board shows that women without children have very little wealth compared to women without children and men with or without children.
Repeating patterns of stress in the everyday struggle for money can take its toll on the parent. However, not everything is so grim and hopeless.
By having a child you are having a neverending inspiration to be better and to struggle with your problems until they are taken care of.
Impact of Financial Struggles as a Single Parent
With slim financial cushions and everyday stress revolving around money, single parents are often questioning their abilities.
That is where there really a worm of doubt on your self esteem is going to eat you. Questioning your every decision is going to eventually bring you down.
One of the biggest impacts of financial difficulties can be on the single parent is the feeling of being run down. With little to no energy, single parents often have a sense of exhaustion when taking care of their kids and their financials.
Restless and sleepless nights are often occurring when your child is a newborn. However, those sleepless nights can increase if you are going to bed worrying about tomorrow’s financial struggles as a single parent.
What also strikes your self esteem is the fundamental lack of support and stigma by others. Not only most people are judging you but barely anyone can or will help you in this kind of situation you are in.
Although some may not judge you and your life choices, they will pity your struggle which can be even worse in a sense.
In general, all those struggles including really nurturing your child can sometimes be unbearable. When being so overwhelmed there is no better way to take that steam off than to cry.
It is perfectly fine to cry. That is the signal that you are emotionally overwhelmed and that you need some time off. Cry your eyes out, and have a sense of small ease at least for a moment.
If you feel that you really don’t have a way out and that you need help, ask a professional. Don’t mask any problem by saying that everything is alright when your gut tells you differently.
Searching, seeking, and asking for help is not belittling you in any way. Any problem can be solved, and you can do it.
How Single Parents Manage Financial Struggles?
Know what you Owe and what you Own – Most single parents have difficulties because they simply don’t know how to handle money well.
Monthly preparations are something that you know pretty well, but timing and paying on time are essential in managing money. Write what you owe, and what payments you must make in order to get through the money. Write what you own, and your sources of income.
Knowing from where the money comes and where goes can give you more security even as a psychological matter. You will be less emotionally drowned when paying your bills when you are prepared for them.
Start Preparing Budget – Speaking of money management, creating a budget and preparing it for upcoming expenses is a must. Being a single parent you can’t expect your child to help you with it, you are the only one who is handling money.
If you are not familiar with creating budgets, you can search online for them. Don’t dwell too much on the information that you will find. Stick to the basics and customize it to fit your needs.
Once you have created it, just stick to it. Consistency will pay off.
Save for Rainy Days – This part can be really tricky. However, once you be more financially savvy you can scoop some of the surpluses to save for rainy days.
Think of it as a crisis budget. If you are left without the income that is coming regularly how much you will survive without it, if your expenses are the same or even higher.
That will be some framework that you can work with, that is your budget goal.
At the beginning of the month try to save about 5-10% of your income for rainy days. If you are able to save more, do more.
Look for new Sources of Income – As the child keeps getting bigger. Their needs follow it too. Your money today will probably not be enough for tomorrow.
Always look for a new source of income. Whether you will pursue your dreams, make a shift in your career, or simply start new something, always bear in mind to follow your gut feeling.
Sometimes when you make that search or shift new opportunities are going to come your way.
Be Frugal – Casual spending, or living beyond your means is really what troubles most single parents who don’t have control over their finances. Without a plan, your finances will run amok.
Living within your means and spending on only necessary stuff will have short and long term effect on your whole life. Not only your account will have something left by the end of the month but also you will have means to save and start with your budgeting goals.
I really like this quote from Catherine Pulsifer “Being frugal does not mean being cheap! It means being economical and avoiding waste.”
Search for Immediate Solutions – When in need the best solution to keep flames from spreading is to divide it and make it manageable. In practical terms search for solutions that are easily applicable so you can get up on your feet.
For instance if your rent is too high and expenses are unbearable, live with a roommate who is in similar position. Search for local support group. At least you will be able to talk to a group of people with similar problems.
Downsizing is another solution. Being frugal is getting rid of things and expenses that are not necessary for your survival but are only luxuries.
Time Management – Having a child is not going to leave you with a lot of free time for you to think about your bad financial situation. Develop a plan of action. Afterward, focus and consistency is a key to make that plan come true.
To more the plan makes sense to you the more you will be able to go through it.
Seek Help and Support – Whenever you feel that you can’t do it anymore, or that you can’t continue with this pace just seek and ask for help. Most single parents are struggling alone because they don’t believe that anybody would help them. It does not matter whether the help is financial or advice-related.
Ask a help from a professional. Counseling can help with all sorts of issues that you have. The studies have shown that single parents are most likely to be depresses, stressed and agitated, professional counseling will help you immensely.
Start Small – All problems are solvable. For now you probably can see the solution or way out. For start you don’t need grand solution for everything.
Don’t be too occupied by one problem, you will not see the whole picture from that problem. Create a plan that involves small steps forward. Maybe new income, new place to stay, or even smaller than that, fewer expenses per month.
Develop such a system that you will be on the better side each month so that you can grow and develop easier and with less care. Start small and build up from there.
If you still think that money defines who you are, please read the recent post that we have written just about that.
Thanks for reading have a nice day and take care.
